A career in Motherhood

(Note: The whole article is a perception; I have completely no clue what is driving me to write on this subject…and it’s out of my mind but hmm..? I guess you say it best when you say nothing at all. Thus I am going to keep mum.)

I appreciate her sober tone and her kindness, I realize her tension and her urge to maintain her realm, I value her worry and her care and I am grateful for her turmoil and skepticism. 

Yes she is a mother!!!

This topic is one that calls forth all manner of wishful fantasies on both sides; people say motherhood is the best feeling ever, excitedly hesitant though the notion of motherhood makes me feel as a full-fledged career option.

The tension of a woman accumulated with the effort of mothering along with the work of her career is likely to be in an never - enduring state, but how would it be if motherhood itself was a career choice, surely it would be an option as long as the economic conditions would sustain.

So can motherhood be a career option?

Some wonderful people I know have spent all their lives being just a mother. I mean they leave their education, their career’s, those self centrist dreams all for motherhood, initially reluctant though. I am so cynical at the moment, while I appreciate and urge every single inch of it, right from the labor pain till you get your child married; a broader aspect makes me think motherhood to be as a serious and a full-blown profession.

In today’s point of view, motherhood is experienced by managing work and child with the right set of combination. It all starts from childcare subsidies then corporate culture, then media culture, of course with social expectation along with family outlook, followed by physiological outbursts and at the end your willpower.

Ideological circumstances of modernity, in so called modern mothers sustain particularly when it comes to self hood, decisions to be made and change in priorities comparatively the work of achievement requires self-culture, ambition and drive, motherhood on another hand requires absolute patience and meekness, in fact mother’s drive to care for, relate to and invest in her child.

A career in motherhood fundamentally relates to the drive that powers her achievement rather not being of her children’s but herself. If we read out the requirement of the given career option serenity has to be your ambition and love and devotion towards your child has to be your instinct.

The scope in this career option would make you a successful mother and rather cultivate you to be a distinctive woman that runs from a woman’s drive to a mother drive and her instigation to succeed over all. At the end I guess the intense pleasure of looking at your baby growing is a amalgamation of all the promotions, increments and achievements that you could expect from your career.

The logistics of industrial modernity although cannot be compared with the specialization that sorts a mother into separate spaces dividing mothering from career. Tuff task!!!

Why is it said that Feminism is vulnerable?

If vulnerability is the worst case scenario and I being contradictory hate the fact that women are treated vulnerable; even a head- strong women at given time phase surrenders to this emotion. It not a woman phenomena rather a human phenomena, it is an extreme uncouth manner in which the society target only women to be vulnerable.

Sometimes I feel what feminism is:

Is it my point of view or the way I question things?

Is it the need to prove that women can take on the world by themselves?

Is gender being navigated by culture or is it always about culture and not gender?

A lone woman is termed vulnerable why not a lone man?

Marriage is essential for a woman at a given age why isn't the same for a man?

Is it traditionally masculine to not display your emotions and thus if you do, it is termed into feminine?

If we try to distance ourselves from emotions and refuse to be taken care of, we are said to be practical and if we do we are denoted as vulnerable.

So what is the concept of feminism trying to achieve?

I read this somewhere that, “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.” I learnt this was written by Pat Robertson, who famously said this in the 90's.

Yes I am a feminist, but I don't hate men, or think every man is a rapist, or think every man has evil intentions but I just hope that there was no bias and we could live in gender equality.

Someone once told me ‘Men and Women are similar not equal’ rather if he would have told me ‘Men and Women are different but are equal’, it would have been more agreeable.

Psychological it is noted that showing your emotions in public is an attribute of an individual who is mentally strong but hiding emotions are the qualities of a vulnerable person, thus showcasing that we are emotionally vulnerable could make us seem rather strong, wont it?

Feminist or non –Feminist, I feel every woman has an urge to prove herself, try so hard in this so called Man’s world. Deriving to the fact…that every driving force is not needed to be termed as feminism, rather subjective but it’s a normal human tendency, to be bigger and better.

Few people tend women to be nothing more than sex objects or baby machines but I don’t mean to say that all are like that. Many a times we are taught what is acceptable by boys and what is acceptable by girls. Who made this gender differentiation? We are taught to care about, and attend to others before attending to ourselves or acknowledging it that we too need care. I wonder who made this universal set of rules that we all abide to, irrespective of our language or even sometimes our culture.

Somehow I have come to a point that being a feminist its not what triggers me rather its the thought of discrimination that instigates me. Discrimination between a girl and a boy, between rich and poor, between able and the disable. 

Sometimes I find myself becoming defiant on what the society expects out of me…sometimes I feel the society is strange and sometimes I reach to a given point, nevertheless I am being Ambivalent!

The Bandhua 1947 campaign

The Bandhua 1947 campaign

Culture Clash!

This is not a Book review, but a culture clash within me. Although I have to divulge for the past few days I have been reading the book, “Memories of a Geisha” by Arthur Golden, it is an amazing book, yes I have watched the movie before, but the way the book creates a set of ambience inside your mind is fantastic. The amount of trauma a person can go through and still hide it with make up or to say with white paint!! Is devastating at the same time!!

 I wish I could write someday like that…awesome!!!

But that not my point, my point is about the cultural conflict that has been erupted inside me. Japanese culture is a rich culture, the dynamics of Japanese culture very diversified; though the subject here is about the geisha culture.

After reading the book, I did a primary research and with an averagely done study, I have known few facts about geisha culture. Geisha culture is a profession of entertaining and prostitution but it’s not all that, the word geisha itself literally means 'person of the arts' - indeed the earliest geisha were men. But later the profession was shifted to women; wherein they were expected to be performers of dance, music and poetry, including indulgence in sex.

The geisha culture and their world is an image of a mysterious and timeless Japan more than prostitutes they were so called romantic courtesan, which probably would be a better description.

The clash sustains between Japanese and Indian Culture, where prostitution in India seemed to be a taboo, in Japan visiting a Tea house (a house where geisha’s live) was a very common wealthy practice.

In India if a man would visit a brothel or a prostitute, it seemed as a betrayal to his wife, but in Japan looking for sexual pleasures out of marriage was like buying another commodity.

It is not that Indian society had not witnessed prostitution in ancient times or the royal have never indulged themselves but it has always been a matter of acknowledged, known, indulged still alien! 

From ancient practice in Southern India of ‘devadasi’, to the Mughal era introducing the ‘tawaif’, or the Arthashastra itself describing prostitutes in the name of ganika or rupajivas or the Portuguese introducing Japanese prostitutes to India, but they have always been looked on a as veiled part of the society.

Hard to digest…but what we learn and endure in our culture does not really mean it is the same way implemented in every other culture.

Even today, Geisha culture is maintained, but her duties have been limited as a perfect hostess. While some were paid to meet a man's sexual desires in the past, this is not the case for modern geisha. They may play the part of perfect Japanese women, but they are not prostitutes anymore.

Religion..

Someone told me why don’t you write something about religion…surely that person dint know how religiously orthodox I am…but it kept triggering my mind…hmm…

Religion, if every religion teaches peace, why don’t we have a peaceful world then?

It might seems precarious, to hear a sentence like that for people who know me, everyone has a right to feel and follow what they believe in, and I am not against anything but I am not for it as well, you just need to bind few things to maintain harmony and be a part of the society.

I believe I am being controversial and divisive today!!!! But it’s just my point of view and I don’t mean anything against anybody, I respect everyone’s faith and expect the same in return.

Around the world, genetically we all have two eyes, one mouth, and four limbs, moreover we cry when we are sad, smile when we are happy, and laugh when something is funny.

If we have same emotions then why is it that comparatively we don’t have the same notions?

The quintessential of a human behavior must be taken in account when it comes to religion (even mine); there are shocking observation, when we tend to see the similarities between different Castes and Religions.

For example: A parable in Quran speaks about, Ibrahim sacrificing his son Ismail, as Alla told him and wanted to test his faith likewise in Bible a parable speaks about Abraham sacrificing his son Isaac, as Lord wanted to test him.

It was also found by a French historian Alain Danielou in his study, he noticed in 1950 the structure of the Christian churches resembled that of the Buddhist Chaitya.

The usage of holy water is similar in Hindu as well as Christian culture. Amen for Christians and Amin for Muslim, which is said to be derived from the Hindu (Sanskrit word) "OM." There are many other similarities between Hinduism and Christianity, the different altars around churches which recall the manifold deities in their niches inside Hindu temples, or the Christian Trinity compared to the ancient Vedic trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva.

Advaita Vedanta, the school of monism teaches that God is one however it is learnt that due to illusion or manifestation from god upon the minds of human beings, gods & goddesses or deities are formed.

In the Hindu philosophy the Sanskrit term Ishwara is used which is regarded as one, spiritual, formless, invincible, omniscient, universal and perfect, similar to Arabic term al-Rabb and in Christianity called Lord.

May be I have been subjective or trying to counterpart more about three religions but, when we stay in an Indian Society or any other society irrespective of one’s caste, class, religion or faith it is important to look more than the eyes meet.

I have been brought to a conclusion that it is better to catch hold of your faith and never to let that be circumcised under any authority or pressure, your faith is divine. But it’s also a matter of others, their faith and their circumcision also must not be altered.

I am not going to justify whether "god is one" am no one to do so, its on people to decide what they believe in, but as far as I know every god speaks about peace, harmony and mankind, which must be rendered to, in the society.

People must live head strong with their faith and also let live others with their, like you can’t forcibly love someone you just can’t forcibly worship someone.

Real or Surreal

“Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast,” said the White Queen to Alice and Alice during the fight with the Jabberwocky in the story ‘Alice in Wonderland’

Alice in this line contradicts the two worlds that she herself is trying to figure out, one is the real world and the other is a fairy tale.

Alice in the wonderland, what we studied in school or saw in the movie creates non figurative impression of what the world is about. It is although a fairy tale challenging Alice the protagonist, between the real and the surreal world, between what she wants or believes and what the world expects out of her.

At an early age when such a literature is added under school curriculum, I wonder what are we trying to impart into our children, at one point I feel it is to believe and achieve what we desire. But would it be good enough to understand the depth of the literature involved in the story at such a young age.

No offense Lewis Carroll or any other authors, I mean since childhood I am a fan of fairy tales, but past few years when you stand and acknowledge the real world it makes me wonder, would it be correct to read out fairy tales to a kid, may be fairy tales were created just to amaze kids and create interest in learning and reading. But I have read somewhere that something learnt in childhood remains forever.

Before the genre of fantasy was brought into existence written literature and mostly narration was addressed as fairy tales, like Tolkien's The Hobbit, George Orwell's Animal Farm, L Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Panchatantra, Cinderella, Pentamerone and many more.

In the name of folklore and folktales, these narrations that have passed on from centuries can be justified, the subsistence of a fairy tale is although subjective at times and sometimes even irrelevant, but a childhood without fairy tales also cannot be imagined.

Nevertheless may be every individual has to go through a phase where learning, unlearning & relearning has to be done.

World of empirical Morality

If ethics are nothing but reverence for life, then why has life become so unethical?

The fundamental principle of morality is maintaining, promoting, and enhancing life and that destroying, injuring, and limiting life are evil if so it won’t be incorrect to presume that the evil side is winning.

On the grounds of humanitarianism the society has become really depressing when we realize the fact that it is nothing more than S***

As we live in a morally bankrupt society from a girl being gang raped to a woman committing suicide on the busy streets while the crowd just watched her by....from a child who dies on a road side due to hunger…to a man who sells his organs for money.

It is so sad to know, as Lord created us in his own image we have become nothing more than a herd of animals.

Upsetting!!! That in some point in our lives we all have been immoral….but is there a limit to it.

We educate our children but do we impart true morality. Yes we do teach few basic steps; still we bribe them with goods. Most commonly everyone would have heard from their parent, “If you get marks you will get this or if you do this you will get that.”

On what grounds do we talk about morality when we ourselves start to pass on the lessons of immorality at an early age, and then demand verdicts.

Yes children may not know about morality, but they cant even fake morality like we adults!!!

The only thing Constant in Life is Change

Reinhold Niebuhr once said, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Change is a constant thing isn’t it? Every day is a new start, a new morning, a new day, the climate changes, the atmosphere changes, time changes, a second passed by or changed  cannot be retrieved.

So if we question ourselves is change really essential? May be a million times the answer to this question would be yes! Although change in one’s life is always not fruitful as expected, some may never want to grow up or be an adult, some may never want to take up responsibilities or some may just never like the idea of change in their lives.

Long lost are the days when change was not a radical as it is today, being a 90’s kid may be that just an understatement that you listen from your elders. Still it makes me wonder how life would be in the absence of all those negative feelings…such as hate, jealousy, envy, being judgmental, and a society without competition or opportunists.

It is very easy for relationships also to change today, yes am being a hypocrite for people who know me but, relationship are also made as we strive to achieve this change, for better or worse times decides…but those aren't meant to be we just “undo” those relationships.

So is change all about being so practical! It is not about what we want, but always what is expected out of us. The society sets standard for us and we need to abide to it.

Yes for the fact change is important...as it helps an individual grow, nurture his life, moreover it is a process of life that makes a man what he is… but is the society leading us towards a positive change or a negative change? Was agricultural-ism better or Industrialization or Globalization? Some changes are just not within one’s self…but an abstract of what society can be made out of!

God taught some simple rules of life he said EAT, LOVE, PRAY, but man complex-ed it he said EAT right, healthy and expensive, LOVE, lust and etc, and what is PRAY!